Hello again, kittens. It’s 2024 and I’m back with a word for the year ahead: Balance. For anyone worrying about me or the blog, thank you for your concern…neither of us is going anywhere. I’ve already financially committed to the blog through November 2025 so let’s just get through 2024.
As for me, I’ll keep it simple: my multiple sclerosis is changing. I’ve been very fortunate to be stable (this always provokes a joke from my dear husband), but now, although there’s no new inflammation/lesions, the existing lesions are growing. Mostly on my spine which helps explain why I’ve fallen 3 times in the last 12 months. Twice I’ve broken multiple bones in my feet and 4 of my toes. Not fun. I knew this was coming, but thought I’d make it to my 70s before simple things like balance and walking without tripping became problematic.
So, my choice of the word balance applies to almost every aspect of my life right now. Physically, my love of a sedentary life has to go. I’m starting with a physical therapist this week, but after that I have to have a regular workout routine. Reading as my primary activity is no longer an option.
Working out 3 days a week is not such a big deal. I’ve done it before. But that was in my 30s, 40s, and even 50s when I still had that magical ability to add more to my existing schedule without missing a beat (remember those glorious days of unending energy?). Unfortunately, MS hijacked that part of my brain years ago and when my energy is gone, a nap won’t do it. Instead, it’s an off switch and I mentally shut down. I can sit at my computer with the best of intentions, KNOWING what I need to do, and 15 minutes later I’m still just staring at the screen. It’s worse than feeling tired and is frustrating as hell.
Balance means my priorities have to change, with working out moving to the top of the list and everything else reordering itself from there. In addition to The Gilmore Guide to Books I’m also a recurring host on a book podcast and am not willing to let that go, so I’m hoping that downsizing to two reviews a week and possibly only one on weeks I’m recording podcast episodes will do the trick.
That’s where I’m at, but balance is going to be a crucial concept for all of us in the upcoming months. Namely, because there will be none of it to be found in America this election year. I foresee the levels of negativity, vile behavior, and lies being at an all-time high as ever more foul creatures crawl out from under their rocks thanks to acceptance and praise from one of the candidates. Hate and fear are all this person has to offer and while counteracting his vitriol and all those aligned with him is necessary, it’s also exhausting. Balance means stepping away from the fray. Physical health aside, sitting at my computer for hours a day has got to stop and yet, it’s my routine, hardwired after decades of repetition. So, again, balance is going to mean a complete overhaul of my daily life. It’s not an option, it’s a necessity.
Sorry for all the words and the gloomy outlook, but sometimes I’ve got to be real. One thing that’s real is my love of this community and knowing that you’re all out there reading and loving books the way I do. I promise to be back with my 2023 reading wrap-up later this week!
Just wanted to let you know, I understand where you are coming from. My sister was diagnosed in her late 20s with MS and is now 71. Balance and driving became a very serious issue for her a few years ago. She now has a great dane service dog, who helps her with her balance, which has been amazing; and she had her car outfitted with hand controls since she can no longer drive with her feet because her legs and feet cramp and some times she has no feeling in her feet. I wish you all the luck in the world and give yourself the rest and relaxation your body needs. Your reviews are great.
Thank you for this, Debbie! I’m sorry your sister is dealing with MS. It’s a sneaky S.O.B of a disease. Between the time off and starting physical therapy I’m feeling much better.
Sending you good wishes as you prioritize your health and well-being. I appreciate your blog and podcast contributions because even though our reading tastes differ, your thoughts help me learn more about what I like and don’t enjoy in my reading, as well as steering me toward book recommendations for others. I haven’t chosen a word yet – wavering between cultivate, notice, and listen. It sounds like balance is perfect for you now & I wish it for you in abundance.
Thank you! I love that about the reading community- I can learn as much (if not more) from people with different taste than me.
You have great word options! Have you picked one? Listening is an ignored skill in our world and we need it now more than ever. I’m going to keep that word in mind!
Please take care of yourself, and we will be here when you do share a book review.
You have been such a strong supporter- thank you! The time off really helped me refocus. I’m much more confident I can do everything I want and need to do.
We love you and you should do whatever is necessary for your health! We will all be here still following you regardless of frequency of posts. Happy New Year!
Sometimes it’s as simple as slowing down and quietly thinking about priorities. I have adjustments to make, but who doesn’t?! I’m so fortunate to be able to do this and know that people like you appreciate it.
We will be here for you whenever you have the energy for us. Sending healing vibes your way. I hope you find a routine that works for you and that your energy is restored. Best wishes for 2024, Catherine.
Gayle! Thank you. The time off clarified a lot of things for me and now I just need to follow through. Also, I’m simply going to have to pay less attention to the news. I don’t gain anything from it.
I am sure your entire reading community appreciates your putting balance at the top of the list. Know that we are here for you on your journey and will be grateful for any reviews we get, sporadic or otherwise.
Thank you, Patricia! The time off really helped me to slow down enough to figure things out. It seems this holiday season was a tough one for everyone as far as feeling swept away and getting things done. I’m back on track and am going to do best with balance.
Love your reviews and love you! So sorry to hear about the progression in the MS. You’re such a beautiful swimmer, hope the physical therapy brings you back to the pool for both the physical and mental sanctuary that it can provide.
Thanks, dear! What I wouldn’t give for a convenient pool. I’ve started PT so am going to ask my therapist if she has any options. Fingers crossed!
I am so sorry to hear that your MS has progressed. These autoimmune disordered are such bastards. They are such shape shifters and can change for no reason and with no warning. I hope the physical therapy helps and that you are able to achieve more balance in the new year! Sending you lots of love and hugs from Minnesota! Thank you for the impact you’ve had on my reading, though! I have read so many books after hearing you recommend them! Like I never would have picked up All the Broken Places if you hadn’t raved about it!
Aren’t they, though?! I hope you’re feeling healthy and staying warm in MN! I started PT so I feel like I have a project now which is good for me. I’m very goal oriented.
Thank you so much for the compliment, helping people find books is my greatest passion. And All the Broken Places was so good! Don’t know why it didn’t get more attention.
Catherine,
I’m so sorry you’re having to experience this. I just want you to know your readers are behind you and supporting you! I truly appreciate your dedication to your reading community. We benefit so much by your thoughtful, insightful reviews. But your physical and mental health comes first, always!
Also, I hear you about the election year ahead. I’m working on a mental health plan to keep myself sane this year!
Wishing you health and peace.
Thank you, Julie! The time off helped me clarify priorities and I’m hoping PT will get me back on track with my physical health. As for the election, I’ve decided (for now) that there’s nothing to be gained by watching the news. It’s so toxic and I seldom see anything that impacts my political decisions. I’ve always wanted to be informed, but it’s not healthy right now.
Catherine. I’m so sorry that your MS has flaired up. My niece has an autoimmune disease that is unpredictable so I do understand a little hear. Hopefully the exercise will help you manage. I love your posts and hearing you on Sarah’s podcasts. You will be in my thoughts throughout the year.
Thank you so much for the kind thoughts. I’m sorry about your niece. Autoimmune disease are especially difficult psychologically because basically you can’t trust your own body in one way or another. I hope she’s found ways to manage the stress. I’m optimistic about the physical therapy.
Hi Catherine, thank you for sharing. I’m so very sorry you are going through this. I hope the exercising helps and you can find a balance. I very much enjoy your podcast cohosting and I’m so glad you can continue it.
What you have said about the upcoming year is spot on, and it makes me so sad and angry that a horrible person can be allowed to do all the things.
I’m going to have to make those things (exercise- UGH) a priority because the stress of our country even now is too much. That we would be in a place where our Constitution was on the line and a criminal could be allowed loose (again) to do even more damage blows my mind.
Love you and support you in your quest for balance!
Thank you, cutie! Being part of the podcast is a wonderful thing!
Catherine, Thank you for your honesty. Wishing you the best as you begin a new routine and make health a priority. I’m glad to hear that you will continue with the podcast and your reviews.
I’m glad it didn’t put you off the blog. I hate sounding whiny, but know there are lots of people struggling right now so decided I needed to be honest. But now it’s back to books!
I’m sorry to hear about your recent falls but it sounds like you’ve got a good plan going forward. Best of luck to you as you embark on a new routine! Do you enjoy audiobooks? Maybe that can make working out more fun?
Happy New Year to you!
Ugh, Laila, it’s not been fun. Especially I can’t even say, “Oh, I was sky diving.” No, I was standing up from my desk. Period. Thankfully, I’ve started PT and it is fascinating already to learn how we can train our brains to adapt. It’s not fun, but hey, we all have hard stuff these days. Thank you for continuing to read my blog, I appreciate it!
I am sorry to hear your MS is upending your life. I am so glad you will continue your reviews, no matter the number. I pick up many books because I read your reviews or hear you talk about them on the podcast you sometimes cohost. God’s blessings to you as you find the new balance in your life this year.
Thank you! I started PT and it’s it’s fascinating how someone trained in the human body can teach you to adapt. I won’t be doing the tango or playing tennis anytime soon, but I’m optimistic there won’t be more falls.
So happy to hear you’ve found books you’ve enjoyed through the blog and podcast.
I love you on the podcast and your blog—i’m selfishly thankful you are continuing that!! I do physical therapy helps you in the ways you need. MS is a really bad deal, I’m sorry.
Oh my gosh, thank you so much! You’re right about physical therapy. I’ve only had one session and am already learning new ways to cope.
I am sorry to read about the growing lesions in your spine from MS. MS is a difficult and tiring disease to manage. You might want to look at The New York Stem Cell Foundation website. MS is a disease they are tackling and I have watched panels talking about the protocols they are testing to more effectively treat MS. The Foundation is doing very cutting edge work. Also, a very interesting read is Everyday Miracles by Dr. Richard Burt. He studied stem cell transplants for cancer patients at Johns Hopkins. In his later years, he began using a milder form of this kind of treatment with MS patients. Some of his patients went into complete and long-term remission. Johns Hopkins is using this technique for some auto-immune diseases, like scleroderma, also with success. Thank you for all your good book reviews. I enjoy reading them.
Interesting! I’ll mention all this to my neurologist. She’s wonderful about what’s going on outside the basic therapies etc.
Thank you for reading my blog!
Hey. This all sounds good — to make your health & working out a priority. All these years of blogging — and I didn’t even know you had MS … now aren’t I the jerk? I’m glad you are starting PT this week. If it’s a good person & place, it will help quite a bit. I actually start PT next week for a knee replacement. So it’s good to prioritize & get on a program. It’s Okay to read less. 2 reviews a week is still good. And your times on the podcast are invaluable to us all. I’m guessing we might be around the same age perhaps; our health needs more attention this decade. Good luck with your PT and program ahead: you can do what you set your sights on.
Hell no, you’re not a jerk! You’re my buddy in Canada who’s going to take me in as a long lost cousin when America goes up in flames and the borders close.
Started PT and it is very interesting. I’m confident about 2 reviews a week and know I won’t be cutting back on the podcast unless Sarah says so.
Number one thing I have to do? Stop looking at news sites. There is nothing to be learned. I’ll do what I can on the issues I care about (did you hear the largest school district in FL banned 673 books from their schools?!) and I’ll vote. Sigh.
You write beautifully! Theressa and I are involved at a national level in the fight doe democracy. You? your priority to to take BETTER care of yourself.
You’re so kind! I have your letter, but only got halfway through a reply. Mud brain.
This is wonderful to hear and I want to know more. My sister-in-law is very active in Ohio (which is insane at this point). I appreciate everything you’re doing!
Thanks so much for all of your thoughtful book reviews. I’m a faithful reader and listener whose reading taste is very similar to yours. Sorry to hear of the challenges you face and hope that you are able to prioritize your health and achieve more balance in your life. All the best to you in 2024.
Kathy
Thank you so much for this comment! I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner. I’m working on the balance, but trying to give myself grace as well- something we’re all going to need to do this year.
So happy to see your best of the year post. I agree with you about stepping away from the fray. Best wishes
Thank you! There were some great books out in 2023. I’m still surprised at how much nonfiction I loved!
You take care as well. It’s going to be a tough year for everyone.
I just learned about your MS from your IG page. So sorry to hear this and that it has worsened. Glad you are getting all the help you need and coping as best you can.
I saw a nurse practitioner at my neurologist’s last week. They are so busy, I was only going to be able to see the Dr. in August. Something is going on and I believe it is just my back, but this has brought back a lot of old stuff I went through years ago. I had the Drs wondering if it could be MS. Brain scan, you name it. I was going through a lot back then. I think it all started with my mentioning muscle spasms. I was under a ton of stress with my mother suffering from dementia. It was all inconclusive and I never finished the full work up. A CT scan of my chest had my Dr. calling me, telling me it was Myasthenia Gravis. This was years ago. I ended up having a lumbar laminectomy somewhere in the mix. A recent MRI shows that something is going on in that area. Going to do an EMG next month and some p.t. Fingers crossed this is only my back.
I enjoy listening when you join on Sarah’s Bookshelves! Often on a long walk. It helps pass the time and adds to my never ending TBR! Here’s to radical acceptance and taking it one day at a time and loving life! I appreciate your being so real about it all.
I’m sorry you’ve had to go through so much and that things are heating up again. I hope you get the answers and help you need and thank you so much for listening to the podcast!